(Of course, to protect _their_ privacy, I'm still going to obfuscate and scare-quote-on-first-appearance the names of _other_ people who haven't consented to be part of my story.)
-Right. So I was annoyed that I had missed out on my trip to Portland (the _real_ Portland, and not a corwardly obfuscation) and getting meet to Jerrica, who I was now _especially_ grateful towards for taking my side as an "out" autogynephilic trans woman during my 11–14 February public Facebook meltdown (highlights: [1](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154807871200199) [2](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154808888680199) [3](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154810042700199) [4](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154812225235199) [5](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154812673305199) [6](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154812970895199) [7](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154813104220199) [8](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154813788715199) [9](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814383695199) [10](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814409220199) [11](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814492195199) [12](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814496385199) [13](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814640265199) [14](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154815302975199) [15](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154815789735199) [16](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154816160405199)).
+Right. So I was annoyed that I had missed out on my trip to Portland (the _real_ Portland, and not a corwardly obfuscation) and getting meet to Jerrica, who I was now _especially_ grateful towards for taking my "side" as an "out" autogynephilic trans woman during my 11–14 February public Facebook meltdown (highlights: [1](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154807871200199) [2](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154808888680199) [3](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154810042700199) [4](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154812225235199) [5](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154812673305199) [6](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154812970895199) [7](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154813104220199) [8](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154813788715199) [9](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814383695199) [10](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814409220199) [11](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814492195199) [12](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814496385199) [13](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154814640265199) [14](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154815302975199) [15](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154815789735199) [16](https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154816160405199)).
----
bitter about not getting to visit a friend of the blog in Portland
+green blinky light at Vagabond Inn, thought it was serving a social control function, and that it was a CGI capture for people constructing blackmail material
+
+I thought my friends trying to help me and give me cigarettes were constructing counterblackmail
+
hot chocolate, poison me; afraid of being locked in; not trusting Google Maps (I thought it might be giving me bad data as a test case)
everyone is being posioned all the time, and there's
Jem Uber, denouncing my social class; Hamilton tickets
+thought I was in multiple worlds, multiple futures
+
I gave away my books (Luminous, The Fountainhead, A Deepness in the Sky)
those are some nice books
do you want the books?
(He didn't actually want the books; he was lying
+asking about the property next door
+
+afraid of being posioned, afraid of theft
+
+thought that people messing up my room evolved function of capture the flag
+
pseudonymity is kind of cowardly, but I guess it's a cheap and useful hedge, and "Saotome-Westlake is more interesting than my truename"
copy of the brand-new Caitlyn Jenner memoir _The Secrets of My Life_. (Despite the title, I have this sinking feeling that it's not going to spill _all_ the secrets that people in Jenner's reference class know. Oh, well—I guess that's what this blog is for.)
-Wells Fargo courtesy call
+different versions of me in Vagabond Inn, in different rooms that couldn't be distinguished because they had the same number, maybe the Inn had been designed that way to hide people from the cops because we live in a police state and I never noticed; couldn't tell if the air conditioner might be a siren, and I thought it might actually _depend_ on my interpretation (whereas in the physical world, it was always an air conditioner, and I was misinterpreting it as a siren; compare how I thought the crosswalk beeping was like a premonition of my hospital death)
+
+BABSCon someone might die because of the conservation law, but it probably wouldn't be me
+
+"Someone is going to die, and it's not going to be me!"
+
+there might be _separate_ An Algorithmic Lucidity and Scintillating But Ultimately Untrue Thought meetups, and one of them, someone who had been gaslit into thinking they were me would attend, and maybe he would get killed instead, if the party; or maybe there would be a scandal in the newspapers about a confrontation in the bathroom, and there would be a trial
+
+some subset of my crowd is in harmony with human nature
+
+getting out of dodge, being tempted to write a cryptic email introducing my rationality friends to Blanchard et al.
+
+tempted to make a collage of papers of the bad parts of the world, like a CAPTChA
+
+misinterpreting the interpretation of my makeup, hairpiece &c. layout, and the blog summary clipped photo, as like a task that humans completing little comptuation tasks to avoid starvation several hundred years hence (with some measure), but also
+
+my followers bidding with Facebook Likes on my status update for the right to go to the party, and return something they had stolen from me, in exchange for a concession; maybe that was what had happened to Michael O. Church; people threatened him to take the posts down
+
+misinterpreting Arina's text as from the future
+
+wasn't sure if I smelled shit on the MAX train, but later Anna smelled it too, in a different place
+
+Dap and the headphones, tell her you're from Frisco; where I come from
+MAX Yellow light
+
+buying an extra phone charger, not wanting to get caught
+
+Wells Fargo courtesy call, wanting to give the man a gift for his daughter, modeling myself as a packet, leaving notes for myself, &c.
narrative optimization—doing things for the sake of writing a Diary entry about them later
my fox in the playpen
+empathizing with the old man in _Rainbows End_; everything falling apart at the end of life; positive and negative surprises
+
+something about decisionmaking is about making bad outcomes inconsistent; thinking that with some measure, there's a Greg Egan novel about me and my friends, and we're deriving some of our measure from simulations of that story
+
+it's important to keep documents because that's how our simulation bootstraps itself into knowing which nootropics work
+
+conscious social engineering angle; wanting to run away and not tell people where I am, and have that be a _credible_ threat
+
+"CHOOSE LIFE", street lamp in front of billboard; turd/cork
+
+Uber bidding algorithm, infering that Uber had subcontracted everything out and it only just barely worked
\ No newline at end of file
projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / commitdiff