It seemed important to avoid the gaze of males, particularly males physically larger than me. (If they noticed me noticing them, they would try to threaten me.)
-An Asian woman named Joy seemed to hurt herself on the hinges of the
- * fragmented memory: Joy intentionally hurt herself while I was trying to help her, football coach-like orderly said he was only trying to help; Joy says, this never happened
+...
+
+An Asian woman named Joy seemed to hurt herself on the hinges of the cart used to bring us meals, in a way that plausibly looked like my fault—maybe I had opened the door on the cart while her fingers were in the wrong place? A football-coach-like orderly took my side (in the manner of a grown-up intervening in a squabble amongst kindergarteners), saying that I was only trying to help. When the orderly was out of earshot, Joy looked at me and whispered, "This never happened." I was never sure what that was about. Had she only been pretending to be hurt, and was telling me to keep quiet?
+
A young black woman named Tone asked me what we had for breakfast—as if
- * black man saying something about his mother, I explained that his mother probably did love him, he got angry, and I hid behind my door
+
+
+ * black man saying something about his mother, I explained that his mother probably did love him,
+
+He got angry. I hid behind my door.
- * a moment of solidarity with a black male smaller than me?
+
+I shared a moment of solidarity with a black man who was physically smaller than me, and therefore seemed safe to talk to.
...
...
-I remember having Anna on the phone, and asking if I was a political prisoner. (The Soviet Union had declared its dissidents sick from sluggish schizophrenia as a pretext for locking them away.)
-
-She answered in the negative. "Really?" I said. (If I _was_ a political prisoner, she might not be able to say so over )
-
-She repeated her answer. "Really–really?"
+I remember having Anna on the phone, and asking if I was a political prisoner. (The Soviet Union had declared its dissidents sick with sluggish schizophrenia as a pretext for persecuting them; how could I be sure things worked all that differently here?)
+She answered in the negative. "Really?" I said. (If I _was_ a political prisoner, she might not be able to say so over
-* asking Anna on the phone whether I was a political prisoner "Really?" "Really really?" followups (if I were a political prisoner; she might not be able to say so)
+She repeated her answer. "Really–really?" I said.
...
projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / commitdiff