From: M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake Date: Thu, 6 Jul 2017 18:52:00 +0000 (-0700) Subject: drafting "What's My Motivation? Or, Hormones Day 7X" X-Git-Url: http://534655.efjtl6rk.asia/source?a=commitdiff_plain;h=9027fdd4b514fdfee2ff3ce151ac17a3779ec527;p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git drafting "What's My Motivation? Or, Hormones Day 7X" digit X TBD depending on when I finish it (pray I need not alter the 7) This is from the 3 July "Shut Up and Write" meetup. --- diff --git a/content/drafts/whats-my-motivation.md b/content/drafts/whats-my-motivation.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5b33a2e --- /dev/null +++ b/content/drafts/whats-my-motivation.md @@ -0,0 +1,27 @@ +Title: What's My Motivation? Or, Hormones Day 7X +Date: 2020-01-01 +Category: other +Tags: HRT diary, not-a-transition +Status: draft + +Why am I doing this again? + +I'm not trans. I mean—I'm not _transitioning_. It _should_ be a trivial corollary of "Don't take other people's medicines": if you're transitioning to live as a woman, get on HRT. If you're not, _don't_. How could anyone get this wrong? Maybe the nonbinary folks would support me, but it seems a bit duplicitous to appeal to their authority given my views. A reader of this blog on 8chan says that my hormones expermient is "five steps beyond 'playing with fire' and more like 'directly throwing yourself on a fire'". + +But you only live once. Transitioning is absolutely out of the question for me: backwards-compatibility of social identity turns out to be really important to me (remind me to tell you later about my emotional trauma from the time I tried to switch to an ostensibly gender-neutral nickname and it didn't take), and in the absence of full-body transplants, I couldn't expect anyone to take that seriously. But this—_obsession_ with gender has been a _thing_ for me for a really long time. It's not going away. + + +legitimacy + +Sufficiently attentive readers of _The Scintillating But Ultimately Untrue Thought_ may have noticed that the day number in the title of this post isn't congruent with the + + +(The _starter_ in _starter dose_ is code-switching for _placebo_.) + +Really, the results so far are nothing to write home about—they're something to blog about I _guess_, but not if you want your blog to have readers. My libido is way down: . I think I'm starting to get a little bit of breast growth?—it's subtle. + +And ... that's it, as far as I can tell. + +risks of looking too weird, hurts socially; hurts finding a partner + +Or the man who, trying to split the difference between getting the girl and being the girl, achieved neither.